


One Is Lonely, Two Is Company

by Fox_155



Series: NCT Wolf AU [4]
Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Alternate Universe - Werewolf, Childhood Friends, Growing Up Together, Implied Mpreg, Implied Sexual Content, Light Angst, M/M, Mentioned NCT Ensemble, Misunderstandings, Non-Traditional Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, to lovers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-18
Updated: 2019-09-18
Packaged: 2020-10-21 07:47:03
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 12,326
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20689976
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Fox_155/pseuds/Fox_155
Summary: Most things about Yuta’s life were… out of the norm.Okay, that was just a nice way to say chaotic.But there was no way Taeil, a year older and infinitely much cooler than him, was actually his mate. Not even his life would be this messy and out of the norm.Right?





	One Is Lonely, Two Is Company

**Author's Note:**

> I don't own any of the people and this story isn't by any means an accurate representation of the people by whom it is inspired by.
> 
> This is set in a wolf AU with A/B/O dynamics. So, there's implied mpreg, if you don't like that, please don't read it.
> 
> I hope I did Taeil justice in this, I did some research on asexuality and I have a friend, whose experience I based him off on.
> 
> I'm always happy to get constructive criticism in the comments.
> 
> This has multiple parts from different POV, if you're interested in the other parts, please check the series for the timeline. This is a prequel to [Three Is A Charm](https://archiveofourown.org/works/16197947).
> 
> TW: potentially dangerous hobbies and the discussion of possible deadly outcome of them

#####

Most things about Yuta’s life were… out of the norm.

Okay, that was just a nice way to say chaotic.

It all had started with his mother’s pregnancy. Obviously, pregnancy itself wasn’t all that shocking, really not. People got pregnant all the time, Noth, South, East, West, city, forest, whatever. No reason to flip, right?

Wrong!

Yuta’s mothers had tried for pregnancy for twenty years, ever since they got mated at the meeting of the packs when they were only 19, without success. It had been hard to come to terms with because it had been a wish they both had had, but they had long given up the hopes of their dream of having a puppy being fulfilled.

Then, the pack healer announced the odd morning sickness and desire for cherries with deer his mother had were because of pregnancy. In the fourth month.

How neither of the two had realised there hadn’t been a heat or rut for four months spoke about the state of the household Yuta had been conceived in. Chaos had been pre-programmed to be his constant companion, it was destiny.

Needless to say, they were overjoyed, but also overwhelmed. They had had to reorganise their lives within a few short months to accommodate the child they had been sure they’d never be blessed with and would now finally have.

But the old gods weren’t making it easy for them. That, too, would have been much too calm and uneventful, how his mothers joked looking back after they had managed to overcome the moments of fear and worry.

His mother went into labour almost two full moons too early. It had left the whole pack in panic, but the path nature decided to take was impossible to stop, so all there had been left to do was help the birth be as easy and safe as possible. The goal was to allow the mother to survive and not suffer any avoidable injury.

For the puppy, there hadn’t been any hope. Not this much too early.

The healer had put the tiny bundle of new life onto his mother chest, so they could at least have a few moments with him before his time on this world would already be over for him again. He hadn’t been breathing and so tiny and fragile, it seemed like a short goodbye was all there would be.

But when he had touched her chest and felt the heartbeat of his mother underneath him, he had opened his mouth and taken a tiny drag, fitting for a small puppy as he had been, and then he had started to scream on top of his lungs, as loud as the biggest and healthiest babies usually did.

His mothers had tried to soothe him, but he wouldn’t be happy until he got to drink and then he had proceeded to nap until he woke up hungry again – how all puppies would.

Everyone kept worrying his tiny heart would stop beating and every breath he took would be the last, but he kept fighting to stay on the world he had so freshly come to.

One day, two days, one week, one month, until his mothers stopped taking turns to hold him and listen if his heart was still beating every moment of day and night.

Eleven years later, all that remained of that too early start into his life was that he was still tiny in comparison to the other puppies born in the same year as him.

To make up for it, Yuta was louder than all of them and had become an expert in kicking knee caps – which were oh so conveniently on the right height. A bigger than life personality so no one could accidentally look past him because he was hidden between other puppies twice his size.

“You really need to stop getting yourself into trouble. All these punishments can’t be worth it.”

“You mean, I need to become sneakier so they don’t notice anymore?” Yuta looked up from where he was scrubbing the bars for grilling over the fireplace.

Johnny looked down on him with his eyebrows raised.

“You’re way too loud to be sneaky. Just give up. Also, there’s dirt on your cheek.”

Yuta reached up to rub it away, only to realise his hands were black from the coal and ash stuck to the metal and cursed.

Johnny laughed at his misery and Yuta threw one of the rugs at him. Now, there was a black stain on Johnny’s shirt.

His laugh died and he looked down himself, then back at Yuta. A growl ripped from his chest and he bared his teeth. A second later, Yuta was pushed back, hitting the pebbled ground, Johnny holding him down.

Yuta growled back as fiercely as he could and brought up his knee to hit between Johnny’s legs, making the other whimper and loosen his hold. Yuta seized the chance and pushed up. He managed to switch their positions and growled at Johnny underneath him, demanding him to submit.

Too bad all it took for Johnny was a small push and Yuta found himself on the losing side of the fight once more.

He didn’t give in but struggled against the hold. He kicked up, so Johnny used a leg to hold his down, effectively rendering him immobile on the ground. Yuta glared and didn’t give in – neither did Johnny, but when he snapped his teeth Yuta’s direction once more, he knew he had lost and there was no reason to keep struggling.

He cocked his head in submission and let Johnny lick over it, confirming his victory.

“Good fight. Too bad you’re the size of Jungwoo or you might stand a chance.” Johnny grinned and finally crawled off Yuta.

“Am not!” Yuta yelped and immediately jumped at Johnny’s neck again.

Jungwoo was almost three years younger than him! He wasn’t going to take the disrespect.

Johnny went down under him and they rolled over the clearing, trying to pin each other down. Yuta didn’t give up as easily this time. He was livid.

However, their furious fighting was halted when they rolled against something – or rather someone.

“And what do you two think you’re doing here? Yuta, the fireplace doesn’t look very clean and Johnny, the apple trees won’t harvest themselves, as nice as that would be.”

Yuta threw Johnny one last glare but scrambled off him, head downturned in fake regret.

“I’m sorry.”

The same apology echoed from next to him and when Yuta glanced over, he realised Johnny was covered in dirt.

At least he had left marks. It was a small victory on his side. Marks were important, they could show someone had taken a beating.

Unfortunately, Yuta looked himself down and realised he looked about as bad as Johnny. And the fireplace was still dirty.

At least their remorse had been believable and he was dismissed to return to his task while Johnny was herded away.

With a deep sigh, he picked his cleaning rug back up and dipped it into his water bucket to get the grass and stones off that had stuck to it from the ground where it had been ever since hitting Johnny.

Yuta had cleaned the fireplace so many times, he had lost count. It was a popular punishment because no one liked doing it. It sucked!

It had just been a small joke, a snake’s skin that was still wonderfully intact after it had shed it, wrapped around a stick and placed conveniently in Seungwan’s bed. She had screamed so loudly, it had probably echoed to the treeline where the territory ended and the scary human world started.

Too bad neither Seungwan nor the adults that had come running had found it as hilarious as Yuta had.

“Do you need a hand?”

Yuta knew the voice all too well. Immediately, his heart started beating a little faster and when he turned his head and the stench of burnt wood was no longer overpowering, it was replaced by this distinct feeling of comfort he always smelt from him.

Taeil smiled down on him and Yuta swallowed before nodding.

“You look so messy!” Taeil chuckled and kneeled down, reaching into the bucket to get one of the cloths still swimming in the murky water.

“I can’t help it, this is so frigging dirty! And I also had a brawl with Johnny, so it’s not even my fault.”

Brawl was a new word Yuta liked to use. It sounded much more important and grown-up than fighting. Fighting was something small puppies did, not really big and super grown-up ones like himself.

“Of course. You were forced to put that snake into Seungwan’s bed and then Johnny attacked you for no reason at all.” Taeil teased.

Yuta scrubbed harder.

“Yeah.”

Taeil chuckled again.

Yuta glanced at him from the corner of his eye. Taeil was leaned forward and scrubbing where Yuta hadn’t gotten to yet, smile making his cheeks look squishy.

The thing was…

Taeil was a year older than Yuta, a head taller, really good at any work with wood, like carving decorations or making a construction stand with only two wedges, things like that, but also knew a ton about the territory, prey, edibles, tracking, everything there was to know.

He was _super_ cool.

He was also really handsome and smelt very good. Yuta had only really started noticing that recently, maybe a moon or two ago?

So, yeah, long story short, he kinda liked Taeil, in the way that the wolves in the fairy tales always liked their mates?

But that was also _super_ lame because getting mates and love and stuff included kissing and all the other things mates did, which were all gross and embarrassing. Yuta, Johnny, and Taeyong had all agreed they wouldn’t do any of that because it was so dumb and instead always laughed about it.

Because of that, no one knew he had a crush on Taeil, he had never mentioned he smelt sort of good these days and looked kinda a lot better than all the other puppies around their age.

Yuta had no plans to do anything about his crush or whatever it was. Well, okay, he did kind of want to maybe kiss Taeil just to see, but also not really because that was slobbery and totally lame and Yuta wasn’t lame.

He tried to carry on as normal in daily life, but it was hard when he kept noticing things about Taeil. And it was also hard to ignore it and hope it’d go away when Taeil was often around, helping him with his endless punishments, learning with him and the other puppies, and being assigned to the same tasks as Yuta.

Taeil had always kind of done that. Yuta had always thought it was really cool that he was the one that Taeil chose to help because, as a puppy a season older, Taeil naturally was looked up to and respected a bit by him and the other younger puppies.

These days, it made him not only feel cooler than his peers but also a little light-headed to know Taeil chose him specifically to help.

“You should try and avoid leaving your scent on the things you hide to scare others.” Taeil suddenly said and Yuta dropped his rug.

“Y-yeah?”

“Yeah, that way it’ll be less likely you get blamed. I mean, it might be too late because people assume it's you by default now, but you could try and get out of punishments by saying there’s no proof.” Taeil turned his head and grinned.

“Y-yeah, I thought so, too. I also thought about becoming more sneaky.”

“I think you’re too loud to be sneaky. Just being smarter will help you without having to go against your nature.”

“Can you show me how?” Yuta really hated getting punishments. If Taeil knew a way to avoid them, he _needed_ to know.

“I mean, I can, but that doesn’t answer if I will.”

Yuta leaned over and pressed the dirty rug to Taeil’s neck, “Stop being such a know-it-all!”

“Yah! That’s gross!”

Yuta poked his tongue out, and a second later, Taeil was on his throat and Yuta even dirtier than he had already been.

So, yeah, even if he would have wanted to, Yuta wouldn’t have known what to do about this crush other than annoying Taeil even more than he already did.

A year passed, then another, and another.

Yuta kept getting into trouble and kept having to clean the fireplace and Taeil kept pitying him and helping him.

He kept lacking behind in height and weight. Even though bawls with his friends started to become more frequent as new instincts slowly started making them protective of certain things and sensitive to silly remarks they would have brushed off before, their friendship was unchanged, as strong as it had always been.

Just as unchanged as his feelings for Taeil, as well as his perception of the older’s appearance and his scent.

Which Yuta obviously still hadn’t told anyone because while the topic of mates was slowly becoming less of a taboo and reason for hysterical laughing, it was… just… Taeil. They had grown up with him, had known him all their lives, and they were all friends. The older they grew, the less noticeable the age gap became. No one else thought Taeil was super cool anymore, no one else seemed to spend hours just sitting there and thinking about how beautiful his nose was or how ridiculously cute he looked when he laughed too hard.

No one, but Yuta.

And it would appear that Taeil didn’t spend his free time thinking about how pretty Yuta’s nose might be or how cute he looked when laughing too hard. Which might have to do with Yuta’s nose kind of being too big for his face and his face looking rather dumb when laughing.

So, yeah, Taeil probably didn’t like him like that. It made sense. It was just a silly puppy crush. It was the most reasonable explanation, actually, it was the only explanation.

Love for wolves was predestined and forever, just how Yuta’s chaotic tendencies seemed to be.

There was a soulmate for everyone out there. Every year, there was a pack meeting in the South, where all packs met up so their mature, unmated members could roam and find their soulmate among the others.

Anything you tried before that was considered puppy love. It wasn’t meant to last, not meant to be. Mates weren’t born in the same pack. In the fairy tales, they were, but not in reality.

So, the attraction Yuta felt for Taeil wasn’t anything he should hope would turn into anything serious.

It didn’t explain why it was so persisted and why it was so impossible to let go of, but it justified Yuta doing absolutely nothing about it. Taeil wasn’t doing anything either. So.

“Seriously, out of everyone it was going to be you that’d be reckless enough to jump off a cliff.” Yuta looked up from the book, his mum had left him with, and saw Taeil come into the healer’s hut. The door slammed behind him and he marched over like he was ready to thrust a stake into Yuta’s heart.

Despite the obvious anger, a smile tugged on Yuta’s mouth, how it usually did when he saw Taeil. He wasn’t scared of the older, and he also wasn’t going to deny his previous heroic actions. It’d make him look so much cooler, it was perfect to brag about to Taeil, so he might consider Yuta to be a bit cooler than he really was.

“Of course! It was so awesome!”

Taeil grumbled and pushed past the chair still left from when his mother had been here, holding his hand while the healer had stitched him back up. “You’re an actual idiot, Yuta! Like, really, you’re so stupid!” His voice was serious and trembling a little. Up close, it became clear that there were tears in his eyes and Yuta suddenly felt panicked instead of like a battered hero.

“But it looked cool. Johnny said I wouldn’t dare jump. It’s just a few cuts.”

Taeil glared at him, but with the tears, Yuta wasn’t sure how to react, what to do. Why did Taeil seem so upset? Okay, well, Taeyong had sort of flipped, too, but there had been a bit of blood or maybe a lot and that had been slightly unsettling even to Yuta.

He was fine now, why did Taeil still worry?

“You could have gotten seriously hurt! Worse even… cliffs that high aren’t meant to be jumped off of, you idiot!” Taeil growled and Yuta froze in his spot, “Sorry. Sorry. I… sorry.” Taeil sunk into himself and Yuta’s heart was suddenly in his throat.

Taeil was worried. Very much so. For him. More than his friends had been, even more than his mothers had been, though they might just be desensitised by now.

“I’m hard to kill, I’ve survived so far despite no one thinking I would.”

“That’s a stupid mindset! You need to remember your safety and health, you’re not invincible nor immortal!” Taeil shot back and Yuta swallowed. The other rubbed his sleeve over his eyes, “Whatever, this is dumb. Sorry for annoying you.”

The door fell shut behind Taeil and Yuta stared at it for a few more beats until he realised Taeil wasn’t going to come back and explain.

Slowly, Yuta picked his book back up and stared at the words written on the page. It was a human thing and the stories were sort of unrelatable, not as nice as the fairy tales told over the fire that had been carried from generation to generation, but he wasn’t really reading anything right now anyway.

He just stared blankly at the page before himself, trying to process.

Was Taeil worried more than his friends because his feelings for Yuta were stronger than those of his friends?

How Yuta’s feelings for Taeil were stronger than those for his friends?

No.

It was just a silly puppy crush, nothing serious.

It’d pass and Taeil would find his mate at the yearly pack meet, as would Yuta, in just a few years.

Still, Taeil’s scent lingered in the hut and Yuta’s thoughts went back to how it’d be the scent that’d let you know you found your mate, your destined mate.

It’d smell like home and comfort, was how people described it. You’d get a whiff and just know.

What if you had grown up with the scent, though? You couldn’t get your first whiff and just know, right? What if there was someone who had smelt like home and comfort ever since he could remember but there never had this moment of suddenly realising?

Or was this maybe suddenly realising?

Fuck.

Was Taeil his mate?

Yuta felt the book fall to the floor with a bang, but he couldn’t move.

What was he supposed to do now? How did this work?

Well, maybe he was wrong.

Yeah.

Totally.

Except he was really sure he wasn’t and just too much of a coward to run after Taeil and ask if he smelt like comfort and home to him as well, if he found himself thinking about Yuta’s nose and stupid laugh for hours on end as well.

Instead, he dove under the blanket and closed his eyes despite not being tired.

He’d just ignore it and not do anything.

Yeah.

What a mature and reasonable way to deal with his problems.

It turned out Taeil never spoke of the incident again either. Yuta returned to his tasks a week later, still limited to the easier ones because he wasn’t fully healed, and Taeil was as normal, no tears in his eyes, no special affection, nothing.

So, Yuta was as normal, too.

If Taeil wasn’t going to say anything, he wasn’t going to take the first step.

Eighteen was the age at which a wolf would present. More or less, some were a few moons early and often you waited for up to half a year after until nature finally dropped the much-anticipated revelation.

Presentation meant the beginning of adulthood.

Not much would change, in Yuta’s opinion. His friends called him crazy for thinking so, but he wasn’t even nearly as stressed as everyone else. It really wasn’t that big of a deal, he’d just wait and see.

Well, yes, Omegas would leave their pack when they found their mate, to live with them. And Omegas generally more often did the whole puppy-care thing. In the past, Omegas were supposed to stay back and be submissive, but here, it wasn’t like that so much anymore.

A few generations before Yuta had been born, their pack-leader had been killed in battle over territory. It happened. However, instead of finding a new pack leader, the Alpha had been succeeded by her mate – an Omega.

It was still kind of expected that Alphas would lead and Omegas would take care of the village, but there was more freedom than traditionally would be. Yuta didn’t really think much about it, it still seemed far away and there generally were few complaints.

Maybe more worth spending a second thought on was, that Omega leader, who had passed away also long before Yuta had been born, had established a sub-pack system. It was meant to ensure every pack member’s needs were taken care of as much as possible by ensuring there were more leaders in charge of fewer wolves.

The way it worked meant when the oldest puppies of a batch were old enough to become adults, the traditional battles and tests to find a new leader would be held, and the bunch separated off into their own sub-pack to organise themselves.

Yuta was one of the oldest puppies of his batch, together with Taeyong, Johnny, Doyoung, Taeil, and Hansol.

He had known, ever since he had been old enough to understand, that he was going to be one of the potentials for the role as the new leader.

If he presented Alpha or Beta.

Despite it having been an Omega that had implemented the rule, the Omegas weren’t allowed to participate.

“I don’t understand why. Omegas are known to have stronger protective instincts.” Taeyong threw a stone and made it bounce over the surface of the lake three times before it sunk.

“Omegas are naturally weaker than Alphas and Betas, though. And not territorial enough.” Johnny returned.

“How is it that there’s only one right way to lead a pack? Why couldn’t there be multiple? You can not be territorial as fuck and still protect the territory because you need it to feed the pack and keep them safe.” Taeyong threw another stone.

Yuta had never really felt too eager to become pack leader. He was still going to compete if he could, but he wasn’t really looking forward to it.

He was still as small as he had been all his life. While Johnny and Taeyong had hit growth spurts last spring, Yuta had continued on to grow slowly, like a very unbothered oak. Only, a very tiny oak. It left him at a big disadvantage in fights – and a leader needed to be a good fighter, among others.

Taeyong was a different story, though. They all knew that Taeyong wanted to become the pack leader because he wanted to care for everyone and make life the best it could be.

However, the older wolves had always told Taeyong he shouldn’t focus too much on it because he likely might turn out an Omega.

It wasn’t fool-proof to predict what you’d present as, but there were certain signs that let you conclude a most-likely-scenario.

“Well, Omegas leave their packs anyway, so that’d be an issue for a pack leader, right?” Yuta pointed out the obvious. He had stopped worrying some time ago after coming to the conclusion that Taeil was at 99% chances his mate and regardless of whether he or Taeil ended up being an Omega, they’d definitely stay.

That being taken care of, he obviously still hadn’t talked to Taeil about it.

He was going to wait for Taeil to do so or just ignore it was a thing.

“Then that’s the next tradition that has to go.” Taeyong huffed.

“I don’t think it will.” Johnny tried but Taeyong was too busy throwing the stones into the lake so they splashed, no more finesse behind it, just raw aggression.

Johnny shot Yuta a glance, but he just shrugged. Taeyong was a really good guy, so sweet and caring – but maybe too sweet and caring. And with ideas too revolutionary for the world they lived in. Their pack was already much more liberal and progressive than most, but Taeyong was already trying to live some ideal scenario in which there’d be equal chances all over the country.

“We still have over a year left before the decision over the new pack leader anyway, so try and not stress so much yet?” Yuta suggested.

“I’m not stressed.” Taeyong snarled back.

Right.

“Yuta? Your mum has been looking for you to try on some coat she’s been making.”

Yuta looked up from where he had been searching for a good stone to throw over the lake and saw Hansol break from the treeline.

“I told her I didn’t need it and she should wait for my growth spurt to make a new one, I can wear my old.” Yuta groaned.

“I… don’t think there was an option to say no.” Hansol carefully pointed out. He was tall, taller than all of them, and had a cold face, which was terribly misleading since he was anything but.

“If we were waiting for your growth spurt, there’d never be a new coat,” Johnny commented.

Yuta turned to glare at his friend.

“You can keep your smart-ass comments!”

“It's the truth! All I ever say is nothing but the truth!” Johnny yelled and grabbed his chest like he was deeply hurt.

Yuta normally would have been at his throat in the blink of an eye – but for a while now, he had gotten pinned to the ground in every combat situation within seconds.

He had pride in himself, but there was a limit to how many times Yuta would challenge something that just seemed to be a given. Yuta was smaller and weaker than the other puppies his age, he always had been and he was worrying he always would be – he was the lowest in the pecking order, even Doyoung had more strength and could hold him down until he submitted.

Recently, he tended just give in and not look for trouble and an ass-beating when the result was already as pre-destined as his chaotic tendencies.

“Whatever.” Yuta got up from where he had been and waddled over to Hansol. He missed the confused look Johnny and Taeyong threw him because he hooked his arm into the older wolf’s and they started moving towards the huts where his mother was probably waiting.

“Did you see what material she was using? I don’t want something fancy if I want to grow out of it.” Yuta complained.

“I didn’t check, just normal pelts, I guess? But not fox fur or anything. You know she just loves making things for you – you’re the most spoilt single child anyone has ever seen, after all.” Hansol chuckled and Yuta poked a finger into his waist forcefully, making the other jerk away.

“I’m just such a blessing.”

“Of course.” Hansol laughed and Yuta poked him again and again until he was wheezing for air and begging for mercy.

Yuta, luckily for Hansol, was a very merciful friend and laid off.

The first one to present, late into autumn, wasn’t Taeil, how everyone had expected, but Hansol.

It was mainly uneventful for Yuta because, unpresented, the pheromones were still hardly noticeable to him and Hansol had realised what was going on during firewood-chopping and the older pack members had re-located him into a hut where he was alone.

“It’s a bit shocking, isn’t it?” Taeyong furiously raked the fallen leaves towards the tree lines, where they could turn into a sticky mess and enrichen the soil but left the paths between the huts clean.

“What?”

“That he’s an Omega!”

Yuta watched the once colourful leaves all turned brown and dirty under the tooths of his own rake.

“I don’t know, not really, he’s always been soft-spoken and gentle in nature, right?”

“That’s such a harmful stereotype. And he was just as much up for jokes and games as anyone else. I’m much less asking why him and more that… at all. I mean, I know it’s stupid, obviously, there’d be Omegas among us, but getting actual confirmation on it is different. If he finds his mate in spring, he’ll just… be gone. People who join the pack after will never even know he used to be part of us, or maybe just have heard his name but never gotten to know him.”

Yuta hadn’t considered that much yet. He was more a wait-and-see kind of guy, never moping for hours over what-might-bes. It was why he still hadn’t gotten any further in his doing something with his feelings for Taeil.

They were still there, that was for sure.

There was no sign of them leaving any time soon, quite the opposite. Every day, Taeil seemed to become more handsome, or more skilled, or more quirky and Yuta would end up lying in bed and letting whatever he had noticed that day replay a million times in his head instead of thinking of a next step to take.

“Yeah, but it’s hard to predict the future. His mate could be younger, who knows. Maybe you should wait and see rather than worry already?”

“If not this year, then he’ll be gone the year after or after that. It’s inevitable as long as Omegas are expected to move away. It’s just… weird. It feels so… final. To know he’ll be gone. And worse, there might be more Omegas among us, more people who will just leave and become a memory.”

Yuta had finished with his trail and waited for Taeyong to do the same. The work had warmed his muscles and he opened his jacket to let some cool air in.

“Taeyong, you know you’re my friend, so I really mean this in the best way possible, but sometimes you just have to accept things in life and let go. If you overthink every small aspect of everyone’s life, each what-if, you’ll go insane, I’m pretty sure of that.”

“Yeah. Yeah, probably. I just can’t help it when I care about people. Accepting what nature does has never been my strength.” He sighed and Yuta rubbed his back. It felt like recently, Taeyong had gotten a bit smaller in comparison – or, rather, less bigger.

Yuta didn’t have a favourite season. There was something nice about each of them – and there could be downsides to them just as much.

However, the magic that snow held was never going to fail to make him feel like he was five-years-old and go a little crazy.

“A little crazy? Who in their right mind would use a log to go sledging down a hill that’s known to end in a river? A RIVER! In _January_!” Yuta shrunk back into the blanket his mother had left him in at the community hut’s fireplace.

“It seemed fun.”

“Fun? Do you know what else is fun? Jumping off a fucking cliff, oh wait, you also do that in your free time!” Just like the time that had happened, Taeil’s eyes were shiny and Yuta didn’t know what to do or say.

“I managed to get back.” He weakly argued. It had been sort of a close call and his new coat was now somewhere downstream, ripped, together with his boots, pants and shirt. Shifting had been the only way to not immediately drown and even after, it had taken him quite a long time to reach the shore and then there had been the trip back through the freezing cold with his fur soaking wet.

“Why are you such a reckless idiot? Don’t you think there are people fucking worried you get seriously harmed? Imagine if! Imagine if you had gotten taken by the current and not managed to get out? The river is much wilder in winter when there’s so much water running in it, every puppy learns it’s not a safe place to swim, aged zero, and you go for a dip!”

“I didn’t mean to go swimming, I wanted to go sledging.”

“Then next time, tell me, so I can come and keep you safe from your dumb-ass ideas!” Taeil roared and Yuta jerked away. Immediately, the anger fell from Taeil’s face and he deflated in his spot, “Sorry. Fuck. Sorry, I didn’t mean…. Sorry.” He stumbled backwards holding his head like it was hurting and the world around him spinning.

It was all too familiar. Taeil was the one who worried, Taeil was the one that was more scared for his life than anyone else – including himself but maybe Yuta was prone to making dumb-ass decisions, he couldn’t even deny it.

He shouldn’t let him get away this time. He should say something, ask something, ask _the_ thing.

Yuta was about to get up and reach out when it hit him like a wall – a scent he had never smelt before. At least not like this.

It was so familiar and yet so different.

It smelt of home and comfort, like all good things at the same time. He connected it to many hours of sneaking glances at Taeil from every angle possible to observe every any emotion he could express, to sitting and getting help with putting together a tool or repairing something on the hut he lived in, to scrubbing the fireplace together, to running through the forest in silly games, and so much more.

Now, it was laced with something unfamiliar, something new. A fresh scent, like grass after rain or peppermint on the tongue.

Beta.

Taeil had reached the door and turned, almost falling over the threshold and disappearing, and Yuta was left in his spot, staring after him.

He carefully sniffed the air but the scent lingered, it was unmistakable.

Mate.

Yuta had already known, he had already concluded who Taeil was to him – but this? This had to be this moment of just knowing, that people talked of. Yet, here he was, not following because where Taeil now was a full-fledged member of the pack and ready to get mated, Yuta wasn’t.

If Taeil didn’t say anything first, he wasn’t going to take the first step.

The door opened again and his mother returned.

“Hey sweetie, I have your tea. I think Taeil was just here, wasn’t he? Did he smell different to you? I think I got a whiff off him that was unfamiliar, he might be presenting.”

So, his mother couldn’t smell what was still so clear in the air?

“Yeah, maybe, he was holding his head. Maybe I should check…”

“You are not moving until your lips and fingers are back to a normal colour, young man!” his mother growled and Yuta very quickly sat back down and obediently accepted the tea from her. He wasn’t even sad. He didn’t know what to say to Taeil.

If he was a Beta, that meant Yuta’d be an Omega. That was how it was for males, only Omegas could carry puppies, so there had to be one in every combination.

He blew the steaming tea in the cup to cool it quicker.

Being an Omega seemed okay. Yuta was rather indifferent. Sure, it’d be nice to have the natural advantage of hormones promoting muscle gain that Alphas had, but Yuta had spent all his life being on the small and weak side. It kind of fit the overall idea of Omegas – or was that a harmful stereotype?

He might ask Taeyong some time. Yuta wasn’t as thoughtful as Taeyong, not by a long shot, but harmful things didn’t seem like a good mindset to have.

Maybe, Taeil would say something once Yuta was old enough and went into heat. He’d just wait until then.

Like a watched pot would never boil, the moment Yuta had given up on ever hitting a growth spurt and had instead accepted he’d stay a short Omega, was when it hit.

And it _hit_.

Where Johnny and Taeyong had already pretty much stopped gaining height, Yuta grew out of every last of his thicker winter trousers and sweaters before even the spring equinox, but still not stopping.

If he was fully honest, it was terrifying. Yuta had never had this much body to take care of, he wasn’t used to the air up here. At the same time, it was awesome! Yuta carried himself differently and while he might not need an ego boost, he still got one.

However, while he did enjoy this to the fullest, other parts of his life really weren’t going according to plan.

Ever since the day that Yuta had nearly drowned, Taeil had not spoken much to him.

He wasn’t exactly avoiding him but wasn’t actively trying to not and Yuta didn’t have the guts to approach him either.

It was all just weird.

Amidst Yuta suddenly shooing up like a beanpole and skirting around Taeil awkwardly, the meeting of the packs arrived. It was the full moon around equinox. From the other bunch of puppies in their pack, some had already been attending the last years, but, out of them, this was the first time it was happening.

Obviously, Hansol would be looking if his mate was there, but Taeil had also packed his bags and when Yuta realised he was going to go with them, he nearly grabbed the dark wolf by his neck and to ask him if he was a fucking idiot and Yuta not good enough.

He didn’t.

Maybe, Taeil actually didn’t smell what Yuta did. Or maybe he hadn’t realised.

There was absolutely no doubt left in Yuta’s heart ever since Taeil had presented and his scent had turned from good to great.

It was just a question of time. Yuta would present sooner or later, and then, Taeil was set to realise it in him. Yuta was so sure of it, he wondered if he should maybe store some of the infamous ginger-potion somewhere, just to have it handy once he actually went into heat – but it would probably expire and lose effectiveness.

Taeil might just have not noticed yet.

It still hurt, to be left behind.

The small delegation was gone for six days.

Six days of Yuta getting into every brawl he could to leave out the frustration and aggression he felt over Taeil leaving.

What if there actually was someone else out there?

What if Yuta was wrong after all?

The doubts were maddening. He was not ready to give Taeil up under any circumstances – over his dead body. He realised how stupid it was in lights of how little he had even spoken to him recently, but they had known each other all their lives – a bit of a crisis wasn’t going to ruin the friendship.

A little crisis wasn’t going to not make Taeil his mate anymore.

Unless Yuta wasn’t Taeil’s mate…?

Despite normally not dwelling on thoughts, this one wouldn’t leave him and it riled him up to the point of being stretch thin enough to snarl at someone for breathing his direction – or jump at their throats.

Since finally gaining a bit of mass, Yuta had started to become more successful in his fights.

Taeyong was hard to win against. He didn’t look it, but he was not only strong but also had the best technique that allowed him to overpower even Johnny’s broad form.

Doyoung was easier and even Johnny occasionally had to bare his neck for Yuta.

So, at least he had that going for himself.

Six days later, the delegation returned – without Hansol.

Yuta wanted to say something to Taeil, he wanted to tell him that his mate obviously hadn’t been there because he was right here, in front of his fucking eyes.

He didn’t.

Instead, he pretended nothing had changed and Taeil continued to not make an effort to talk to him, or even just see him.

Close or not, Yuta was watching Taeil every second of the day.

It hadn’t always been like this, but with every day, he felt more protective of him, he felt the urge to look around and reconfirm Taeil was still there, was still happy, was still healthy. Protective, territorial, whatever to call it, it was an instinct that grew as an early sign of adulthood. But Yuta was still a puppy and Taeil was still not showing any sign of interest in him.

Unsurprisingly, Johnny was the first to present, only a bit into spring. Alpha.

It left him with more aggression than he had even had before, and Yuta ate dirt more times than what he had grown used to.

But Yuta wasn’t just taking it anymore either.

After first growing in height, he had started to fill in now. His shoulder became wider, making his hips look slimmer and giving his body a lean line. After a lifetime of being skinny despite the physically demanding life he was leading, muscle finally started to stick to his frame, letting his arms and legs gain circumference and chest and stomach become hard and chiselled.

He became strong. Carrying logs and slamming clothes onto the rocks to clean, that had previously been a strain, was suddenly easy.

Yuta was over the moon, even when it seemed he wouldn’t reach Johnny’s height.

It was just a little weird in lights of Taeil being a Beta and the development that Yuta was going through at the force of a tsunami being not exactly the Omega-experience.

Around the autumn equinox, Taeyong went into rut.

Yuta could only imagine the relief he had to be feeling even though ruts weren’t known to be pleasant.

As an Alpha, Taeyong would get to stay and he would get to compete for the title of sub-pack leader – the thing he had always wanted to be.

Yuta wouldn’t because Omegas weren’t included, so he didn’t bother listening to the younger puppies’ complaints and worries how Taeyong did, he didn’t spend hours in the morning to meditate and practice his moves and strengthen his body.

He much preferred exploring the forest past the well-travelled tracks and paths.

Their territory was big, bigger than what could regularly be monitored. The border patrol obviously would round the land they owned all the time, checking to ensure no trespassers, but large parts of the dark underbrush between the camp and the border hardly ever were visited.

Which made the heartbreaking sobs that reached Yuta’s ears even more unsettling than they might have been at a popular downtime spot closer to the village.

And the scent.

Yuta jumped over logs of trees no one had noticed had fallen over and cleared out yet. It was like someone had drawn a trail in red paint, easier to track than fresh deer.

He didn’t bother shifting. He wouldn’t know what to say – or he might just start crying as well. The wet sniffs were enough to break his heart and when Taeil’s head jerked up because he realised he wasn’t alone anymore, his eyes were red and puffy, streaks of dried tears down his cheeks and Yuta knew he would have become a mess, were he in human form.

“What are you doing here? Go away!” Taeil bristled, but it was weak, his voice trembling and new tears rolling down his cheeks. Yuta took the liberty to ignore him. No way was he going to leave Taeil to cry all on his own here! It was absolutely impossible for him to even imagine turning and merrily returning to the camp.

He trotted over and ignored the tiny glares Taeil was trying to give him through his teary eyes. They weren’t scary.

Yuta nudged his head against Taeil’s and licked over his face, hoping to dry the tears.

Taeil had frozen underneath him and Yuta took it as an invitation to go on. His wolf was insistent to ensure his mate’s absolutely safety, and it was always so much stronger when Yuta was in this form. So, he licked Taeil’s face until it didn’t taste salty anymore, then nuzzled his head into his chest, rubbing it affectionately over his front and sides until Taeil toppled over from being pushed around by such a huge animal so much, and, happily, Yuta laid himself down on top of the Beta.

“Yuta, you’re heavy.” Taeil’s breathing was a little short and Yuta assumed that he probably really was, but he wasn’t willing to move.

Taeil didn’t follow his comment up with anything else, so Yuta didn’t see the need to actually get off him.

They laid in silence and Yuta bathed in Taeil’s scent. He had never before had it this pure and raw, this intense. Taeil just hadn’t been around to smell. But now he was, and here, where Yuta was lying right on top of him, his head close to his neck, it was unfiltered and overpowering. Yuta kept taking it in, breath after breath, and felt himself grow more lethargic with every drag he took. Lethargic and maybe a little light-headed.

Because Taeil smelt like nothing else and like everything Yuta loved at the same time.

Another way to explain it might just be that Taeil smelt of Taeil, and Yuta loved Taeil.

It seemed so simple, yet he couldn’t speak the words. Even now, he was hiding away, using his other form to avoid having to talk at all.

“Yuta, my arm’s going numb. And my legs. Actually, all of my body, you became too heavy to be a blanket.” Taeil finally broke the silence and Yuta very reluctantly started picking himself up.

Taeil set up and pressed his palms over his eyes and Yuta was immediately back at his side and started licking his hands.

He couldn’t cry anymore – please!

“Yuta?” Taeil slowly lowered his hands, and there was so much emotional turmoil in his eyes when he finally looked at him, Yuta was taken aback. “I…”

He waited, waited to hear what Taeil had to say, maybe get an explanation for the heartbreaking sobs, the tears, the everything.

“Nevermind.” Taeil turned his head and a moment later, his grey wolf form sat in his stead and he jumped up to walk past Yuta, who immediately followed, like a lost duckling.

What was it that Taeil had wanted to say but had ended up not?

What had upset him?

Yuta never found out.

Admittedly, he never asked. There wasn’t really any reason to. Okay, yes, he wanted to know, but after he had found him in the forest, Taeil started showing up around him more. There was no reason to risk that by asking anything.

When Yuta was cleaning bunnies, he was suddenly there chopping carrots, when Yuta was napping alone, he woke up realising Taeil had rolled up right next to him, when he stacked firewood, Taeil popped up from nowhere and helped.

It was like it used to be, only now, Taeil was suddenly a lot shorter than Yuta and Yuta was the one taking the heavy things from him instead of the other way round.

Yuta loved it. He loved taking care of Taeil and he was ridiculously proud to show off his strength. Whenever Taeil made a comment, it echoed in his head for two days, making him grin like a fool.

The only issue?

It all really, really, really didn’t fit with Omega physiology. The development during the last year before presentation wouldn’t make him lose muscle or magically shink him, were he an Omega, but it also wasn’t supposed to make him gain it at this rate. That was, what didn’t make any sense.

But Taeil was a Beta, right? Yuta had to be an Omega, how else was it supposed to work?

“You know, if you find something slippery it does work, right? How else do you think Taeyong and I survive our ruts?”

“Yeah, duh, I’m not an idiot, but first of all, what about knotting? And second of all, what about puppies?” Yuta raised an eyebrow. Sex was one thing – but being mates wasn’t about sex only.

“A bit of patience… I think knotting should be okay.” Johnny shrugged. Yuta had not tried putting anything up his ass yet and he had expected to wait until nature would make that easier for him. Even with Johnny shrugging, the idea still seemed quite daunting. It might not be impossible, but it seemed much less terrifying an idea if one was an Omega and had the body and slick to make it work.

Then again, Betas didn’t knot, so that should be fine, right? But what about all the other stuff?

“I mean, shouldn’t it not matter anyway? If the person is the right one, if they smell like home, are like home, isn’t everything else secondary? I’m just saying.” Taeyong pointed out.

“Why do you even ask? You’ve not even presented, much less been to a single pack meeting. You’re normally not the type to lie awake at night and think through 300 scenarios – that’s what we have Taeyong for. Taeyong, have you thought about your mate possibly being another Alpha?”

Yuta suddenly felt extremely called out.

“No, that never even crossed my mind, but I’d definitely still accept it. They’d be my soulmate, Alpha or not. But Johnny’s right, is there something worrying you, Yuta?”

“No, no, not at all.”

“I’ll be fully honest, I would think nature was playing some joke on me at first. But if it’s love?” Johnny sighed and Yuta couldn’t help chuckling. Johnny was known to be the biggest sucker for all the romantic fairy tales, where the Omega was saved by their Alpha or they found each other against all odds, defeating whatever there was between them.

Meanwhile, Yuta hadn’t even asked Taeil why he had cried in the forest – yeah, not exactly the dreamy super-mate everyone would be falling heads over heels for.

If he did turn out to be an Alpha…

Taeil would probably not want him.

Yuta didn’t cry easily, he never had, it just wasn’t in his nature, but the thought was enough to make him struggle with blinking away too much wetness from his eyes.

Why was this so complicated? Why was life so full of obstacles?

“Yuta, hold still, I need to pin this off or we’ll have you run around looking like no one loves you for another year – I couldn’t live with myself!”

A needle pressed into Yuta’s skin and he yelped, jumping away.

His mother had that expression on she always wore when he was being overly dramatic.

“I can’t help it. You’re taking forever!”

“I’m as quick as I can be. You can’t hurry perfection.”

“A little less than perfection will still keep me warm.”

“Don’t even try, young man.” His mother held him where she wanted him and despite her much smaller size, Yuta obeyed. Instead of wigging full-body, he started tapping his feet, playing with the furs still dangling around without anything holding them in place.

It was a bit late to make a coat, but despite having known she would have to make one if she didn’t want Yuta waltzing around in only his self-knitted sweaters – which were warm enough, totally – autumn had come much faster and surprisingly than normal (not really, but, you know). The humans called it the month November and Yuta’s 18th birthday had already passed.

Yuta realised he had started squirming again when his mother chopped his shoulder to keep him still.

“You’re taking too long.”

“Did you have ants for breakfast?”

Yuta grumbled. “I went hunting.”

“Then why aren’t you tired out?”

“I don’t know, I’ll guess I’ll just go for a run.”

“Ah.” His mother paused and Yuta nearly yelled at her to not take breaks and make this even longer a process, but she grabbed his neck and pulled him down to her height, scenting the crook where his shoulder started.

When she let go of him and he straightened back up, her face was a little sad, but her smile was still genuine.

She patted his cheek and finally took the coat off his shoulders despite not having finished it yet.

“Get your run, sweetie. But don’t go too far.”

Yuta looked at her in confusion, then at the coat, and then back at her.

His mother was chaotic and she loved him, though she was sometimes a bit rough in her affection.

But she was stubborn and would finish whatever she had started, even if she had to tie Yuta up for it.

“Are you okay?” he asked carefully.

“Of course, I am. Just a little melancholic. Go on, go!”

Yuta allowed her to shoo him from the hut, but her words echoed in his head for a little too long, still there when he had exchanged his clothes for his fur, and jumped over the treeline, his legs carrying him as fast as they would, flying over roots and bushes.

He remembered not to go too far. He wasn’t sure why, but for once, he didn’t feel like breaking the rules and seeing how far he could go.

His body seemed to run on endless resources.

He just pushed forward and forward, and he knew he was running in circles and anyone tracking him would think he was a moron, but he couldn’t stop. It was like he _had_ had ants for breakfast, he was so restless, wound up to let out pent up energy that never seemed to die down.

Until he caught a whiff of a scent on his own path and he didn’t recognise it to be one of the pack’s.

He stumbled to a halt and immediately felt on edge, a growl building in his chest, ears tugging back, his body tightening to attack. He started hurrying down the trail the unknown scent had left, eyes and ears open to hear any aggressors.

However, he kept going and going, and the scent was on his own trail the entire time, and he seemed to have already passed here once before and….

Yuta froze so abruptly, he fell over his own paws.

He!

He was the source of the scent!

He was tracking himself!

Scenting himself was difficult, but there was no mistaking it.

The new and unfamiliar undertone was just as unmistakable.

Dread sunk in his stomach.

He couldn’t say he was surprised. That’d be a lie.

It had been quite obvious for a while now what Yuta most likely would end up as. There just were some physical aspects that were hard to overcome without the help of certain hormones. Especially when one had spent a lifetime being small and skinny, it was just not going to happen, unless they were

an Alpha.

His mother's words flew from his head and Yuta stumbled back to his feet and started running.

Taeil wouldn’t want him like this.

If Taeil didn’t want him, there was no reason to stick around.

Nature, once more, wasn’t kind to Yuta. Or maybe she was because running from the territory was a deadly risk – but Yuta had been willing to take it.

He managed to get into the thicker part of the forest, where you found the most dangerous and deadly mushrooms, before his body was overheated and exhausted, all the earlier energy gone.

Despite it being November and outside requiring more than just a shirt, Yuta felt like he was burning up in his wolf’s pelt, unable to endure it even a single second longer.

He let it melt away into his human skin and the damp and cool air of the deep woods was heavenly on it, bringing him somewhat back to rational thought – but not really.

What should he do now? This was wrong, all of this was wrong!

He felt a tear run down his cheek and at the same time he felt his blood rush south, arousal starting to thrum under his skin.

He fell to the ground, uncaring where he was, and tried to steady his breathing, force the tears away.

It was wrong, but when he thought of Taeil, he still knew he was the one! He still thought of his pretty nose, how cute he looked when he laughed loudly, how great he was with constructing things from wood, how lame his jokes were, and how heavenly he smelt.

Nothing had changed about Yuta’s feelings.

He realised he had started moving his hand down himself and when he wrapped his fingers around the base of his dick, that had swollen from the rut making him yearn for this kind of touch, he shuddered involuntarily.

He couldn’t focus on the worries, on the fear, and on how this had turned out all wrong and chaotic, how everything in his life seemed to be.

All he could think of was Taeil’s laughter, how his scent would be stronger even than the bitter smell of the campfire, but more than that, he thought about how round his ass always looked, of how he was short but strong, with the muscle to prove sculpting his chest and thighs.

His breathing started to become more hurried as did the movements up and down his length.

Would they feel warm? Hot? Would they be soft or hard? Would Taeil smell even stronger when he kissed him?

Yuta heard the small, desperate moans that fell from his lips with every upwards stroke now. It became slippery from the precum he had leaked and smeared all over his fingers, and he suddenly felt the base start to swell under his fingers, building up along his orgasm. Yuta wished he had the mind to explore it more, try how it felt, how it’d be the best to touch it.

But he was so lost in his thoughts circulating around Taeil and his lust making him go faster and faster, he couldn’t. All he was doing, was blindly chasing his high.

He hadn’t had doubt about Taeil in a long while, but now, it was all beaten for good as it was all he could think of while his stomach tightened and he pressed his fingers around the knot on the base of his dick and finally came.

“So, please, elaborate why you and Taeil seem to suddenly be downright terrified of even seeing each other? What did I miss?” Taeyong’s eyes were sharp and his stare piercing.

“No reason. I don’t know why he’s avoiding me.” Yuta breathed. He still felt the aftereffects of five days of rut, five days of nearly losing his mind and with his hand almost non-stop around his dick. The worst moments had been when he had imagined being able to smell Taeil whenever someone had opened the door to give him food or water.

Other than physically exhausted, he was tired mentally. He had some guesses why Taeil was avoiding him like the plague and why he hadn’t come and instead it had been Johnny, and later Taeyong, that had offered but whom Yuta had to turn down because all he could think of was Taeil and it didn’t feel right to be with anyone else, no matter how tempting in his desperation and need.

“Did you fight? Did he say something? Did you say something?”

“No.”

“Yuta, the trials for the pack leader position will start in a few weeks. I’m sure it’s terrible foreshadowing if we start off with two members in deep conflict. Could you try to talk to Taeil?”

“I don’t want to if he doesn’t,” Yuta muttered. He’d have to participate in this dumb search for the pack leader. Why did they even hold it? Very clearly, Taeyong was the best fit for the part. He was already doing it before anyone had even asked a single question of honour and other bullshit.

Yuta couldn’t even say he hated being an Alpha, he didn’t. He liked being tall and strong, he wanted to protect people and he had always liked to get into brawls. It all just didn’t make sense!

What he hadn’t expected, was that Taeyong would take his excuse as a request.

“Yuta?”

In hindsight, that had been dumb because this was Taeyong and he would go out of his way to make things right – if you offered him the tools to solve an issue, he’d immediately take them and put everything into motion to make right what was wrong.

He slowed his breathing and sunk deeper into the thick blankets that kept the December air out.

“Yuta, don’t play dead, I know you’re there, I can smell you.” Taeil knocked again and Yuta fully disappeared, though he knew how childish it was to try and mask his scent. Especially to his mate.

There was another knock, a growl, and Yuta internally readied 10 speeches to hold Taeyong to keep him out of his business in the future.

“I’m coming in and if you go all territorial on me you can carry the consequences yourself,” Taeil announced and Yuta all but jerked from the furs when the door did open and someone entered without proper permission. That was a no – his territorial instincts were triggered and he was ready to lunge at the intruder. However, the scent that immediately flooded the room was enough to make his growl die in his chest and let him close his mouth.

Taeil was in the frame, stance ready to take a wolf launching themselves at him, but when he noticed Yuta wasn’t going to do that, he came inside and closed the door behind himself.

Yuta stayed where he stood in front of his bed. It was late in the evening and cold, but if he laid down and curled up in his blankets, he’d effectively be submitting.

An Alpha didn’t submit, not just like that. Not even in front of their mate.

“Hey.” Taeil awkwardly cleared his throat and Yuta’s voice was stuck in his throat, so he just nodded in return. “So.”

So?

“Taeyong said we should talk. I mean. I don’t see anything to talk about but I guess he’s worried because of the pack leader choice.”

“Yeah, I guess,” Yuta replied, but it wasn’t the words that reflected what he felt. Why was there nothing to talk about? There was everything to talk about!

Or maybe Taeil was so appalled by his mate being an Alpha, he didn’t even want to say the words?

It seemed like this also wasn’t what Taeil had hoped to hear, because his face fell and his shoulders sank.

“So, I guess, we just… I don’t know, go back to normal?”

“Normal?” What even was normal? There hadn’t been a time that being around Taeil had been normal ever since Yuta had been 11 and first developed feelings for his mate!

“Y-yeah.” Taeil closed his eyes and took a shuddering breath, “Listen, Yuta, I… we… this… it’s a mistake.”

What?

Yuta’s heart sunk in his chest and his lungs started to feel tight like not enough air was filtering into them. He felt his breath come a little shorter, a bit panicked, but he tried to not let it show.

He had known this.

Yet, hearing it hurt – it hurt like Taeil had taken his heart from beating in his chest and stomped on it.

Why was it, that Taeil had tears in his eyes as well then?

“Yeah, I guess,” Yuta slowly nodded. He felt like it was someone else moving his head. No! It wasn’t a mistake! Taeil was his mate, he had always been, end of story.

“Good. Then. I’m sure it’ll be fine, right?”

No. No, it wouldn’t be fine, there was no way it would be, not when Yuta longed for Taeil more than for anything else in this world. But if Taeil didn’t want him, then Yuta had to let go because he loved him, he couldn’t cage him in!

“Y-yeah.”

“You should go to the mating run, in spring, you know?” Taeil nodded like he was trying to convince himself and a tear dropped down and sparkled in the faint moonlight for a second, “I’m… I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to be in your way. I’m sorry.” He turned in his spot and with three steps, he had left the hut and Yuta stared at the closed door, feeling empty and numb.

Taeil’s voice kept echoing in his head.

Yuta thought he was letting Taeil go because Taeil didn’t want him.

The tears, the words, the everything – it all felt like… Taeil was letting Yuta go because he thought Yuta didn’t want him.

Or maybe he was wrong.

It’d be best to not do anything. If Taeil didn’t say anything…

But Tail had said something.

Yuta was hurting him if his suspicions turned out to be true! He felt anger boil in his stomach, anger with himself. His mate needed to be safe, happy, and healthy at all times, that was his duty, as a mate and especially as an Alpha.

If it was love, so what it was a Beta and an Alpha?

For once, he didn’t lie down and just wait for things to happen. He marched through the hut and threw the door open, falling into running step. Taeil scent was prominent, so easy to pick up, like a red threat that guided Yuta’s way.

He followed it and realised it led into the woods.

Yuta stripped his shirt in his run, throwing it somewhere he didn’t care where, he stopped for a moment to wiggle out of his trousers, and a second later, his other form ripped free, allowing him to dart into the forest with ease, beating the cold winter air.

He hoped Taeil knew where he was going – but dumb-ass ideas were his strength, not Taeil’s. The bigger worry was catching up.

Taeil hadn’t threatened him to deal with consequences before marching into Yuta’s territory without reason. Even if Yuta would naturally hold back against his mate, Taeil was a much better fighter than he was, he would probably lose anyway.

And he was fast – as fast as Yuta or even faster.

The ground was uneven and while this was his second nature and roots wouldn’t trip him anymore, Yuta still worried if he was going too slow and forced himself to pick up the pace as much as possible.

The forest at night held more risks than during the day. He couldn’t help feel worry eat away on top of his guilt over hurting his mate without intending to.

It seemed like Taeil knew he was following him, or he was set on getting away.

Wait.

Maybe, he was planning to leave, just how Yuta had?

He couldn’t! The human cities were dangerous! Even more dangerous was getting into other pack’s territory – there was little chance of surviving that, worse, it could spark conflict over land!

The thought made Yuta push even harder, though his lungs and muscles were starting to burn.

Finally, he spotted the form of Taeil’s grey wolf not far ahead, yet continuously slipping out of sight as he kept going left and right and the thick bushes hiding him again and again.

Instincts kicked in, the need to protect and keep safe, to fight off danger. Yuta geared up for the last spurt until he was behind Taeil and lunged at him, managing to get on top of him and take him down.

Taeil immediately turned and started struggling, snapping his teeth his direction but Yuta felt no desire to fight – if he had to submit, Taeil might use the chance to slip away again. He wasn’t here to be a dominant aggressor forcing Taeil, he was Yuta, scared and clueless but terrified to lose his beloved.

Yuta shifted, his skin leaving him vulnerable and cold in the winter air, and he clung to Taeil’s form, hugging him in fear he might run away and be gone forever.

“Taeil, please, why am I not enough? Why can’t I be the one?”

Taeil’s form had frozen the moment Yuta had shifted but now, he felt his muscle start to tremble and a small whimper came from him.

“If you don’t want me, I won’t keep asking, I won’t even be noticeable, I promise, but please, please don’t leave. I can’t be without you, I need to know you’re safe, you’re healthy, you’re laughing and beautiful and happy.” Yuta’s own voice was shaky and his fingers cramped from how tightly he was grabbing Taeil’s fur, “I- I love you!”

He felt the pelt melt away and then there was only bare skin left to hold and he couldn’t because it’d hurt Taeil.

“Yuta, I, I can’t. I, I want to, but I can’t. I can’t be your mate, I can’t give you what you need.”

“I don’t need an Omega, I don’t need puppies, I only need you, your jokes, your skills, your insights, your ideas, your playfulness, your scent…”

“You don’t know what you’re saying! You need someone for your ruts, you need someone to sleep with!”

“I don’t! I’m more than a fucking rut or a knot!”

“But they’re part of you and I don’t even want to touch your dick, I don’t want you to touch mine. I’m not good enough as your mate!”

“Yes, you are! Listen to me, Taeil! I love you! I love you, I love you, I love you, and I love you without ever having slept with you and I will always love you even without ever doing!” Yuta had grabbed Taeil’s face and forced him to look back at him.

His eyes seemed to twinkle in the moonlight from the tears in them and Yuta wanted to kiss him, and hold him, and bite him to mark him as his forever.

“But…”

“No! No buts! I felt like I wasn’t enough for you, that you wouldn’t want some idiot Alpha, but if it’s you thinking I wouldn’t want you then you’re mistaken because I’m crazy for you and always have been.”

Taeil swallowed and blinked, his tears slowly subsiding, but his eyes still as mesmerising and beautiful.

“You are an idiot, though.” He hickupped, “You know how terrible it is to hear the person you love continuously almost kills himself?”

“You love me?” Yuta whispered, wanting to hear it again and again.

“The dangerous hobbies need to stop!” Taeil muttered and Yuta nodded obediently, “Because, yes, I do love you, and I want to be with you. Fuck, Yuta, I love you so much but I can never…”

Taeil never finished his sentence because Yuta leaned forward and silenced him with a kiss and Taeil froze for a second, then his hands came up to hold onto Yuta’s wrists where he was still cradling his face and Taeil kissed back.

The stories said the bite mark didn’t hurt. It hadn’t when Taeil had sunk his fangs into his shoulder, but now, it was fucking nasty and Yuta had to keep from poking it to relieve how itchy and icky it felt.

Remembering made Yuta feel his blood run hotter again, and he pulled the sleeping Beta a little tighter to scent his neck, wanting to have all of him.

But he couldn’t. And that was okay. Taeil had held his hand while Yuta had taken care of himself and that was enough. He’d get everything else and the most perfect and wonderful mate. It wasn’t about sex, anyway, Yuta had known that for a while – and Taeil would hopefully accept that he wasn’t incomplete because he couldn’t give it.

A knock on the door made Taeil stir and Yuta groaned and tried to ignore it.

“Yuta! Yuta, did you talk to Taeil? He said he was going to but he’s gone! Yuta!” it was Taeyong because of course it was.

Taeil sleepily opened his eyes and Yuta found himself forget about the Alpha in front of the door at the sight. He was just so beautiful, so…

“Yuta, we have to look for him if he’s gone!”

Taeil freed himself from Yuta’s arms within seconds and Yuta whined and pathetically reached for him but Taeil crossed the hut and opened the door.

“I’m here. No need to worry, sorry, Taeyong.”

Yuta glared at the door where Taeyong stood, hand still raised to knock, eyes wide as saucers.

“Is… is that… is that a mating bite?”

Taeil’s hands came up to his neck and he rubbed over where Yuta had bitten down last night.

“Yeah, it’s hard to miss if a fucking territorial Alpha puts it up so far, isn't it? But I wonder what the other options would be if not mating bite? Vampires?”

“Yuta! You little shit! You could have told me! It all makes sense now!” Taeyong yelled but seemed to calm back down quickly, “I mean. Congratulations! Ah, I’m so happy for you! How cute!” he clapped his hands and reached out to hug Taeil, who laughed when he did.

Yuta growled. That was his mate and not Taeyong’s to put his hands all over!

“Stop growling and come here, you barbarian, you need a hug, too!” Taeyong ordered and Yuta pulled in his non-existent tail and scrambled from the furs.

If Taeyong wasn’t going to be made leader, Yuta was going to eat a shoe.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading~  
This was actually requested on CC some time ago and I started writing it shortly after the YuWinIl one, but I scrapped and re-wrote it recently ~
> 
> [CC](https://curiouscat.me/Fox_155)  
[Twitter](https://twitter.com/155Fox)


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